First off, this post is not only installation 4 for Washington Beer Week, but it is also in honor of the Oscars tonight. Elegance, fashion, winners and losers will be discussed.
Made sure the volume is just loud enough to hear it, to take your senses away from your computer and toward to dark club. A dark club that you just entered- you feel a new sense of danger, a new sense of self- feeling that you are the most powerful and yet the most vulnerable person in the room. You take your chances to see which way this will play out and you take a seat at the bar.
The bar tender asks what you want- normally it’d be a domestic or an import- those stella and dos x commercials are awfully enticing, but tonight you want something new- something as new as your sense of entitlement. Tonight, you try a Washington beer… maybe you try more than just one.
You glance over your shoulder to see this creature’s eyes darting across the room over a tall skinny glass, one that compliments her figure, you eyes lock and you can tell she’s wondering exactly what your made of. You have to choose your drink quickly, so you chose one that has a definitive name: the Schooner Exact Pale Ale. The name comes out of your mouth as quickly as the glass is handed to you and as you raise the golden ale to your lips. Your eyes glance up to see the reflection from the mirror behind the bartender to see her approaching, with resolve in her eyes. You take the bait.
She introduces herself and appears to be another “actress/model”- one that might be a little less interested if you weren’t wearing that tux you rented. In the course of your slightly awkward, tension-filled conversation, she trails off hoping you’d jump in, her eyes looking deeply into yours and your soul. You reply, but can’t stop thinking about how she isn’t a beer drinker. Just another cocktail girl. But who are you, not one to judge- and why should you?! It isn’t like Washington beers are some of the best in the country. Your mind is all a flutter because you take a sip, another, and another of the pale ale. Crisp, bright, malty, and yet nothing special, much like your newly found company.
And then it happens, she orders another mango-saffron infused mojito and glancing over her shoulder at you, giving you your chance to “put it on your tab.” But you pause. Your glass is empty. You’ve lost interest and just as quickly as your drink went down with passionless taste, your desire to continue this charade with the bland pale ale, and cocktail girl, comes to a close. Your eyes dart around the room wondering what you’re next move will be.
And just like your decision tonight, Idiot IPA, from Elysian. Intoxicating delight, fear, excitement and embarrassment fill you all at once. How could this be possible? You look down and your glass is full, but different, this isn’t like the other. You move in for a closer look and smell. Deep and dark, the floral tones hit you right away, like cupid’s arrow piercing your heart. You know immediately you need to put it to your lips. You close your eyes. The invigorating taste fills your mouth, malt, hops, citrus and is that passion fruit? Your body tells you yes and your mind says no- how is it possible for an IPA to be so smooth, rounded, bitter yet sweet. The Nelson Sauvin hops whispers in your ear, like a lover beckoning you to follow. Impassioned you take another long draw from the glass, then another.
Minutes later, you open your eyes, to see the model/actress had moved on to someone taller, darker and sipping on a drink as fruity as his hair looks. Not a problem though, tonight you will stick with bold flavors that capture your tongue… And heart. Elysian Idiots Sauvin, the Ryan Gosling of beers- even if it’s not Oscar award winning, it’s still damn good.